Best Jokes

One day a drunk minister gets pulled over by a police officer.

Police Officer: Have you been drinking alcohol?

Minister: No, sir. Just this bottle of water.

Police Officer: That looks like a bottle of Chardonnay to me.

Minister: (looking up) Sweet Jesus! You've done it again!

A man rolls on the couch, clutching his knee in agony. His wife asks him, "What's the matter dear?”

The man replies, "I have got a splitting headache in my knee."

A secretary has been to London with her boss. When she is back at the office one of her colleagues asks her if the boss has shown her Big Ben.

"Yes, already on the boat."

What's the difference between a jeweler, a vendor, and a bottle of glue?

A jeweler sells watches.
A vendor watches what he sells.

As for the bottle of glue, I thought you might have got stuck with that one.