Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Trying to disguise his voice, Carl calls his ex-wife and asks to speak to himself.
Jody, his former wife says, "Carl, look, we are not married anymore -- quit bothering me!"
The next day, Carl calls again, resulting in the same sequence of events.
The following day though when he calls, his ex-wife says, "Listen. I told you we're divorced, split, it's over -- period! We're divorced. Why do you keep calling here?"
"Well Jody, it's just that I can't hear that often enough."
On his patrol a policeman came across four guys in a tree and he asked that they come down.
After they all came down the policeman asked, "Who are you guys?"
One of the guys replied, "Geez what a memory! We are the guys that were up in the tree!"
My friend seemed really down as we were having an after work visit to the local bar. After a few beers he finally shared his story. "I finally snapped. Last night while I was going over the bills, I discovered how much money my wife squanders and I hit the roof. I stormed into the bedroom and gave her a lecture on economy and thrift.”
“Did it help?”
“I’ll say. Tomorrow we’re selling my boat and sailing equipment.”
Just before Santa took off for his annual around the world trip, Mrs. Claus looked out the window and commented...
"It looks like rain-dear!"
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