Best Jokes

A girl walked into a bar and said to the barman, "Bud light please."

He said, "Are you 18?"

She said, "No."

He said, "I can't serve you then."

As I walked out I thought to myself, "This is the fourth bar i have been in today. What does a 22 year old have to do to get a beer around here?"

The salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in the department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.

Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half and it snapped with a loud crack.

Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside..."

A farmer walks into a hardware store and asks for a chainsaw that can cut down 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The farmer is suitably impressed, and buys it.

The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY!

The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the farmer says, “What’s that noise?”

Teacher: Suppose you have $10 and you asked your brother for $5. How much would you have then?

Student: $10.

Teacher: Why?

Student: My brother won't give me any money.