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Favorite this joke A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida.
"Is it true," the tourist asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"
"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."
My wife opened her first checking account and went out purchasing things for the house.
After a couple weeks the bank called her and told her she was out of funds.
In total shock, my wife exclaimed, "How can I be out of money when I've got all these checks left?"
"Whose car is this?"
"Mine! I just picked it up from the car dealer. You like it?"
"It's great, congratulations!"
"Thanks, but it's just a second hand one. Would you like to take it for a spin?"
"Really? You don't mind?"
"Not at all."
Five Minutes Later-
"What'd going on? I thought you were taking the car for a spin?
"Just give me a minute. I'm just trying to decide something."
"What?"
"Well, you said it's a second hand car, but I just can't decide which is my first hand and which is the second?"
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