Latest Jokes

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes?

Come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

A mom's teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account.

"The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store," she said.

"Oh good," he said, "Now I can use it to buy a new iPad!"

Why can't pirates say the alphabet?

Because they always get lost at "C".

A yellow Labrador walks into a job referral agency and asks if they have any openings for him. After the receptionist picks herself up off the floor, she asks the dog to come back in an hour. The dog agrees and walks out. As soon as the dog leaves she calls the circus and asks if they can use a talking dog.

"Of course," says the owner, "send him down."

An hour later, the dog walks back into the agency and the receptionist yells that she has a job for the dog in the circus.

To which the dog replies, "What does the circus want with a carpenter?"