Latest Jokes

An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Perhaps, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old woman says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

A man weaving up to a local bar orders a whiskey. The bartender Joe, noticing the condition of Tony, says, "I can't serve you Tony, you have had too much to drink."

Tony walks around the block and comes in the side door and orders a whiskey. Joe again says, "You have had too much already. I can't serve you."

Tony walks the block again and comes in the back door and orders a whiskey and before Joe has a chance to refuse him the drink, Tony says, "Hey Joe! How many places do you work at?"

"Did your identical twin ever call you UGLY?"

A brown and white Snowshoe cat was walking down the street with a doberman walking along side.

I remarked that this was an odd sight to see.

My son said, "Not so much, if you had the money grumpy cat has, you'd have a bodyguard too."