When A Man and a Woman get a haircut...
Women:
Woman 2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman 1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
Men:
Man 2: Haircut?
Man 1: Yeah.
Old man walks up and says, "For sixty years I've been trying to figure out why we vote in November. Finally found the answer this year."
"Why's that?"
"Better selection of turkeys!"
When I went back to the medical lab to have some blood drawn, I was greeted with a battery of questions from the technician.
“Has your address changed?” she asked.
“No,” I answered.
“Your phone number?”
“No.”
“What about your birthday?”
A three year old, WIDE EYED, little girl, was on the phone, "I KID YOU NOT! This guy in a white dress or robe tries to drown me! He puts me under water and my family just stood there taking pictures."