Latest Jokes

It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming. "Please come quickly!" she yelled, "I just saw a naked man outside my window!!!"

The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady's room. "Where is he?" asked the receptionist.

"He's over there," replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel. The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment. "It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed," she said reassuringly. "And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up?"

"The dresser, honey!" screamed the old lady. "Try standing on the dresser!"

"Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals." - Donna Maria G, age 9

"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you." - Rob P, age 8

"If life gives you nothing but lemons, make up a better shopping list for it." - Steven B, age 8

"Moses came down with the Ten Amendments, which were God's Bill of Wrongs." - Susie F., age 7

"Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense." - Beau M., age 10

Almost every person is talking about getting an iPhone 7. I am the very first person to get an iPhone 8.

It's true, I have an iPhone 8!

Only problem is I used up all my data just downloading all the apps I needed.

Two friends are driving in a car. Phil, from the passenger seat, is yelling instructions.

"You idiot! You were supposed to turn left!"

"Make a U-Turn now! You're going to get lost!"

"OK then, merge left onto the freeway."

"Dummy, you missed the freeway! Now it's going to take forever to get where you're going!" You're hopeless!

"Say, Phil, what's up with that ornery voice?" asks Tom, from the driver seat.

"Sorry, Tom, that's my GPS-WAAS talking."

"What's a GPS-WAA?"

"GPS With An Attitude!"