Latest Jokes

A father put his 3-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy crap" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."


Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I just had the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day? You'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch!"

Yo momma is hairy she goes as a werewolf every Halloween.

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Mesut.

How may I assist you?

Hahaha, Yeah right.

So I'm heading up to my parents house driving like 90 mph when a lady cop pulls me over, comes up to my car and she's like...

"Young man, speeding? I've been waiting for you all day."

I look up to her and I say, "I'm so sorry I'm late officer, I got here as fast as I could..."