Latest Jokes

OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc.

SOOOOoooooooooo I'm the only one who would be using Female products.....correct?

A STRANGE thing was happening at my house. Tampons were disappearing. * Insert Twilight Zone theme here *

Ok....A few months ago I went to my cupboard to get out a tampon and there was ONLY one left. I could have sworn I had just bought a box the month before. So, I go back to the store, buy a new box and forget about it.

The next month (T.O.M) I go back to the cupboard.....and VOILA....there is only ONE tampon left again. What's going on here? Gremlins??? I go to the store and buy another box, and forget about it.

WELL.....I decided to clean out my two youngest sons closet and LOW and BEHOLD....at the bottom of their closet are the wrappers, applicators and the tampons themselves.

I am starting to FREAK!!! Dear God, what are they doing with them??????

I get a hold of myself and tell myself that I am an adult and can handle this, despite the bizarre thoughts running through my mind. I'm thinking, "Do I have enough money saved up in the bank for MAJOR THERAPY?"

I go to the top of the stairs and yell for my two youngest sons to "COME HERE!!!!"

They march up the stairs and find me in their room staring into the bottom of their closet.

I said "What are you doing with THOSE? THOSE are MINE!"

My 12 year old looks like a deer caught in the headlights and is silent.

My 10 year old looks at me all innocent and says. "Well, Mom, we were playing with our G.I. Joes and stuff... and THOSE make really good SCUD missiles... What do YOU use them for?"

"NEVER MIND!! GO PLAY!!!!"

An Antartian is standing in front of a pop machine repeatedly putting in money and taking out the sodas.

Finally, the person waiting in line behind her gets impatient and asks, "Ma'am, what are you doing?"

The Antartian replies, "Duh, I'm winning!"

There's this man in the bar and he says to the bartender, "I'll bet you $500 that if you line up five empty beer mugs that I would be able to pee in all of them without any mess." The bartender accepts the bet. Next thing you know the bartender lined up five empty beer mugs. The man drops his drawers and starts to pee everywhere except in the five empty beer mugs. The bartender laughs as the guy pays him the $500.

A woman sees all of this happening and asks the guy, "How come you're not sad about losing $500?" The guy told her, "It is because I had bet the bouncer $2,000 that I would pee all over the bar and have the bartender laugh about it."

Yo Momma so ugly, that she's is the reason for birth control ads.