Interviewer: "What would you consider one of your strengths?"
Me: "I perform under pressure..."
Interviewer: "Can you get give me an example?"
Me: (deep breath) "Mm ba ba de Um bum ba de Um bu bu ba de PRESSURE, pushing down on me..."
You’ve really gotta hand it to short people...
Because they usually can’t reach it for themselves.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis?"
I went on a date with a girl who said she loved animals.
I said, "I work with animals every day."
She said, "That's so sweet. What do you do?"
I replied, "I'm a butcher!"
We never went on a second date.