I just want you to know that if I win the Powerball tonight, it won't change me.

It will change my phone number, my email address, my mailing address...

7/11 isn't giving out free slurpees this year!

Instead of offering free slurpees, they will be offering discounted gas at a price of $7.11 a gallon.

Things You Say After 50:

Where the #$%# is my phone?

How did I get that bruise?

How do they expect you to read that small print?

Where'd I put my glasses?

I don't care if it doesn't look fashionable, it's comfortable!

Who the heck is calling at 9pm?

My daughter was doing her homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo.

I, proudly and confidently, told her that he was just a poor boy from a poor family.