The air traffic controller, working a busy pattern, told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (usually done to provide spacing between aircraft).

The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?"

Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!"

My wife packed my bags and told me to leave.

As I was headed out the door, she said, "I hope you live a long and lonely life!”

I replied, "So now you want me to stay?"

What do you call those who fully listen to both sides of an argument?

Neighbors.

Why do archaeologists get all the girls?

Because they have the best dating techniques.