Past Winners

My doctor has an odd sense of humor.

When I broke my leg skiing he thought it was humerus.

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.

"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year...and you want to know how I made $80,000?"

"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."

"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "Didn't I mention? We deliver anywhere..."

My wife said that last night I was shouting 'Gollum', 'Gandalf' and 'Bilbo Baggins'...

I must've been Tolkien in my sleep.

Where do bicycles go for a drink around here?

Handle bars.