While shopping in the produce department of the local grocery store, a demanding customer asked to have a watermelon cut in half.
I told the lady that we don't normally do this. After being pushed for about five minutes, I took the melon to the backroom and said to my co-worker John, "I need this cut in half so this mean lady can buy it."
I did not know that she had followed me to the backroom. I turned around and quickly said, "And this lady would like the other half!"
I heard on the news tonight that Vanna White is in a rehab center...
She's hooked on phonics.
Why did the teddy bear skip lunch?
Because he was stuffed!!
Why did the elevator go to the doctor?
Because it was coming down with something.