entertainment jokes

Friend: "You shouldn't be gambling. One day you may win but you will lose the next day. The following day you may win again but the very next day you may lose."

Me: "Oh, I hear you! But don't worry, I will not be gambling daily... only on alternate days!"

"I have really good eyesight. Even in the dark, I can see things that are far away."

"Really, like what things?"

"Well, the moon and the stars."

A sleeping beggar puts a sign in front of him. The sign reads:

Please do not make noise by dropping coins... Use dollar bills instead.

Husband: "I want to tattoo your name on me. What do you think, shall I do it on my arm or neck?"

Wife: "How about on your will?"