marriage jokes

A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine. The wife says, "I love you."
The husband says, "Is that you or the wine talking?"
The wife replies, "It's me, talking to the wine."

People say that there is no difference between ‘finished’ and ‘complete’. I say there is...

Marry the right person, and you’re COMPLETE.

Marry the wrong person, and you’re FINISHED.

You have heard it said that it is the thought that counts. Well, when your wife is involved it is NOT the thought that counts, it is HER thought that counts.

They were watching a TV soap opera, and he became irritated by the way his wife was taking it to heart. “How can you sit there and cry about the made-up troubles of people you’ve never even met?” he demanded.
“The same way you can jump up and scream when some guy you’ve never met scores a touchdown,” she replied.