marriage jokes

A man and wife are about to take a trip to Sidney Australia. The man goes up to the Southwest ticket counter and he buys one ticket. The ticket sales man ask the husband, "What about your wife?"

The husband replies, "You advertise, 'All Bags Fly Free'!"

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure that went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid something up front. The man opened up his wallet, displaying a single dollar bill that rested inside.

Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife into the local Safeway grocery store. There he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled onto the scene.

Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings was captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.

Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband. And that is why the next day in the newspaper, the headlines declared:

"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT SAFEWAY"

The Bra was invented during the eighteen century by the wife of Lord Hailsham.

Do you why she decided to create the bra which is still being used by almost all ladies, young and old?

For two obvious reasons!!!