marriage jokes

A man and his wife were arguing over sex.

Man: Sex is work!
Wife: Sex is pleasure!
Man: I don’t blame you, you don’t know what men are going through.
Wife: All I know is that sex is pleasure whether you like it or not.

The argument lasted for a long time until they decided to invite their house help to hear his own version.

House Help: Yes Sir?
Man: Is sex work or pleasure?
House Help: Ehmmm. Boss, sex is pleasure because if sex was work, you would have called on me to do it.

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!”

The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”

Wife: Why don't you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.

Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.

There's only two ways to argue with a woman...

And neither one of them work.