one liner jokes

If you are dating someone who only visits and annoys you at night...

... then you must be dating a Mosquito.

I just did a week's worth of cardio...

... all after walking into a spider web.

Becoming aware of one's character defects leads naturally to the next step...

Blaming one's parents.

Definition of Myrrh...

Myrrh: i. a type of perfume or incense;
ii. the second gift of the Magi;
iii. a great scrabble word when you are out of vowels.