Best Jokes

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?"

"No," the second guy says.

"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.

"Oh," says the second guy.

A couple of minutes later, the first guy says, "Did you see that?"

"See what?" the second guy asks.

"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."

"Oh."

A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"

By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"

And the first guy says, "Then why did you step in it?"

Did you hear what happened to the Indian as he drank glass after glass of tea in his tent?

He got soaked in his teepee!

A policeman was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. “Officer — did you see my client escaping the scene?”

“No sir. Be that as it may, I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”

“Officer — who provided this description?”

“The responding officer.”

“A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?”

“Yes, sir. With my life.”

“With your life? Do you have a room where you change your clothes before your daily duties?”

“Yes, sir, we do.”

“And do you have a locker in the room?”

“Yes, sir, I do.”

“And do you have a lock on your locker?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, why do you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?”

“You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”

The school teacher gave a pupil two apples. One was big the other was small. Then she said: "When your brother comes up and asks you for one of the apples which one are you going to give him?"

The student thought about it for a minute then replied: "Are we talking about my little brother or my big brother?"