Best Jokes

Did you hear there's a new Prozac virus out?

It screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.

As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say.

"It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."

Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out, "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"

Six year old daughter: "Do you know what they called Batman and Robin after the Joker ran over them with a steam roller?"

Daddy: "No, what?"

Six year old daughter: "Flatman and Ribbon."

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done...

Doing the job WRONG fourteen times, gives you job security.