Best Jokes

Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist who recommended a specialist who could help him. His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked, "What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore."

"I hired a professional worrier and I haven't had a worry since," replied Jack.

"That must be expensive," Bob replied.

"He charges $5,000 a month," Jack told him.

"$5,000!!! How in the world can you afford to pay him?" exclaimed Bob.

"I don't know. That's his problem."

"What kind of car did you just get?"

"I already forgot, you know me, I am bad with names. But is starts with 'T'!"

"Really? Wow, what a strange car... starts with 'T'... All cars that I know start with petrol."

Teacher: "Complete the following sentence, 'Early to bed and early to rise...'"

Student: "... This Man has neither WiFi nor Wife!"

I went on a job interview the other day. I wasn't really qualified but I decided to apply anyway. A week later, I became very excited when I was called in for an interview.

At the interview, the prospective employer asked a few questions then read through my resume. After a few anxious moments, as I sat in silence waiting for him to finish reading, he put down my resume. He looked up at me and said, "We have an opening for someone like you."

"Really?" I replied excitedly. "What is it?"

"It's called the door."