Best Jokes

You know you are lost and in a bad neighborhood when your GPS starts whispering directions.

Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist who recommended a specialist who could help him. His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked, "What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore."

"I hired a professional worrier and I haven't had a worry since," replied Jack.

"That must be expensive," Bob replied.

"He charges $5,000 a month," Jack told him.

"$5,000!!! How in the world can you afford to pay him?" exclaimed Bob.

"I don't know. That's his problem."

"What kind of car did you just get?"

"I already forgot, you know me, I am bad with names. But is starts with 'T'!"

"Really? Wow, what a strange car... starts with 'T'... All cars that I know start with petrol."

Teacher: "Complete the following sentence, 'Early to bed and early to rise...'"

Student: "... This Man has neither WiFi nor Wife!"