Best Jokes

One day Bin Laden went to a fortuneteller and asked her when will I die. She replied: You will die on an American holiday. So he asks which American holiday and she says it doesn’t matter. When you die it will be an American holiday.

When a man with nine children was asked how he handled illness among his children, he said, "When the first born coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When the last one swallowed a quarter, I told him that it was coming out of his allowance!"

Q: What do college students and deer have in common?
A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.

Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on ice?

A. Polaroids!