Best Jokes

Q.Why can’t you take a turkey to church????

A.Because he uses FOWL language!!!!

Mr. Marlow was strolling through the country when he saw a stable with the most beautiful horse he ever laid eyes on. It was seventeen hands high and white, with rippling muscles and a fine, flowing mane. Mr. Marlow struck a deal to buy it from the owner who did, however, pass on one key piece of information.
"We are a religious family, Mr.Marlow, and we've instilled those values in our horse. To get him to gallop you must say 'Thanks God' to get him to stop you must say 'Our Father Who Art in Heaven,"
Settling into the saddle, Marlow said " Thanks God," and the animal took off. They rode for miles; suddenly they were coming up to a cliff. Unfortunately, Marlow couldn't remember the phrase to make the animal stop and tried every Biblical passage he could think of until, just a few feet from the edge of the cliff, he shouted, " Our Father Who Art in Heaven! The animal stopped instantly. Shaking and perspiring, Marlow reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Thanks God," he said as he mopped his brow...

One morning a wife told her husband that she had a dream of an angel telling her to wish anything three times will be granted to her on the spot. The husband laughed at her and said, "Don't be silly dear, nothing like that ever happened" The wife tried to insist that it was not an ordinary dream, it was just like a really angel speaking to her. "OK" said the husband "lets try this one. Lets have our house full of balls" Unbelievable, the room was full of balls hanging from everywhere, from the roof, the walls and on the floor. "My God" said the husband "I'm very sorry my dear, I shouldn't have ignored you on the first place. But you know, we have left with two more wishes” he continued, "But first lets get rid of these balls from the house" Then they started picking the balls but whenever they pick one the other comes over. They continued for hours and hours without any success until they all became exhausted. "Listen my dear" said the husband "Since we are left with two wishes, lets use one to clear the balls from the house and we will use the remaining one very wisely" "It is all right, since we have no other choice" replied the angry wife. "Let all the balls disappear from our house" wished the man. "Oh Lord!!" cried the man, "look here my wife, my balls have also gone" The wife looked at him and said "Don't worry dear, we still have one wish left, just wish for your balls to come back!"

One morning a wife told her husband that she had a dream of an angel telling her to wish anything three times will be granted to her on the spot. The husband laughed at her and said, "Don't be silly dear, nothing like that ever happened" The wife tried to insist that it was not an ordinary dream, it was just like a really angel speaking to her. "OK" said the husband "lets try this one. Lets have our house full of balls" Unbelievable, the room was full of balls hanging from everywhere, from the roof, the walls and on the floor. "My God" said the husband "I'm very sorry my dear, I shouldn't have ignored you on the first place. But you know, we have left with two more wishes” he continued, "But first lets get rid of these balls from the house" Then they started picking the balls but whenever they pick one the other comes over. They continued for hours and hours without any success until they all became exhausted. "Listen my dear" said the husband "Since we are left with two wishes, lets use one to clear the balls from the house and we will use the remaining one very wisely" "It is all right, since we have no other choice" replied the angry wife. "Let all the balls disappear from our house" wished the man. "Oh Lord!!" cried the man, "look here my wife, my balls have also gone" The wife looked at him and said "Don't worry dear, we still have one wish left, just wish for your balls to come back!"