Latest Jokes

A weasel is dining at a restaurant. He takes his seat and starts looking over the menu.

The waiter then asks, "What can I get you to drink, sir?"

"Oh, not much. Just a diet pop," goes the weasel.

Irony- getting CPR from someone with bad breath!

The one that is trying to make you breathe, is the same one that is taking your breath away.

While driving a truck I once had to make a delivery to Death Valley, California.

When I arrived it was 128 degrees Fahrenheit. After just a few minutes I was so miserable I was afraid I was going to die.

After a couple hours, it was still 128 degrees, but I was so miserable that I was afraid I wasn't going to die.

Why did the Engineering grad became a pilot?

In order to "land" himself a job!