On his birthday, my husband was stuck driving our six rambunctious children around. As usual, they were yelling, punching, and annoying one another. Joel finally had had enough.
“Kids,” he said, “if you would behave and be kind to each other, that would be a very nice birthday present for me.”
Our six-year-old shot back, “Too late dad, I already got you another present.”
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
An Independ-ant.
Death and taxes are inevitable...
But at least death doesn't get worse every year!
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing... "You can have mine!"