Latest Jokes

A man and his wife had been arguing all day. As evening approached, they decided it would be best if they didn't speak for a while.

The evening passes and as they are reading themselves for bed, the husband remembers that he has an early morning meeting. Not wanting to be the first to break their silence, he writes a note, asking his wife to wake him at 6 AM, then leaves it on her makeup table where she is certain to see it.

He goes to bed with a smile on his face, knowing that when she woke him, she wold speak first and loose the argument.

He wakes in the morning and is angered to see that it is after 9. He stalks to his wife's makeup table to see if she had seen his note.

Next to the note he had written was a note she wrote. It said, "Wake up!"

A man was complaining that his wife refused to make his morning coffee.

She shrugged and said. "In the Bible, we are told the man is to make the coffee."

He stares at her for a moment before informing her that he had never heard such a passage.

She smiled, rose and retrieved her Bible from the living room. She leafed through it for a moment before laying it on the table in front of him.

He glanced at it and sighs, seeing that she opened the Bible to: "HEBREWS".

Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage.

He didn't have to listen as she compared him to previous boyfriends and she didn't have to hear what a good cook his mother was.

A man goes to see his doctor. When he sits down the examining room, he has a green bean in each nostril, a carrot in one ear and a zucchini in the other.

He says, “Doc, I don’t feel well.”

The doctor looks and him and replies, “That's because you’re not eating well.”