Latest Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To prove to the possum it could actually be done!

A few years I got tired of the city life and bought a little cabin In the remote mountains of Alaska. It was a long winter, but made it thru it.

One day I heard a knock at my door I opened it and there stood a big burly guy. He said he lived over the mountain and had seen my smoke. He said he is throwing a spring party over at his cabin. He said it will be tomorrow and asked me if I wanted to come?

I said ya, its been a long winter,

He said There would be a lot of drinking,

I said I like to drink.

Also there will probably be some fighting,

I said I could hold my own.

Then he said, oh, there will be a lot of sex,

I said wow, Its been a long time for me.

He said see you tomorrow and started to walk off.

I said what time should I be there?

He said, it doesn't matter, There's only going to be you and me!

A chicken and a goat decided to take a walk.

As they were walking, a car drove past them with speed and splashed some water on them. The chicken took offence and said, “Look at how they drive, like goats!” And the goat replied, “No wonder they die like chickens.”

How Churches might be in 2020:

PASTOR: Praise the Lord.

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!

PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you’re done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon. Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering. You can connect to the church WiFi using password Lord99087 and as for the renovation donations, you’re welcome to contribute via EFT or mobile banking. The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the iPads beep and flicker.

CHURCH SECRETARY: This week’s meetings will be held on the various Whatsapp groups so please don’t miss out! Wednesday Bible teachings will be held live on Skype @1900hrsGMT. By the way, you may follow the Pastor on Twitter for counseling and don’t forget our weekly prayers on YouTube. God bless you all.

CONGREGATION: Amen!