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Favorite this joke A man was complaining that his wife refused to make his morning coffee.
She shrugged and said. "In the Bible, we are told the man is to make the coffee."
He stares at her for a moment before informing her that he had never heard such a passage.
She smiled, rose and retrieved her Bible from the living room. She leafed through it for a moment before laying it on the table in front of him.
He glanced at it and sighs, seeing that she opened the Bible to: "HEBREWS".
Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage.
He didn't have to listen as she compared him to previous boyfriends and she didn't have to hear what a good cook his mother was.
A man goes to see his doctor. When he sits down the examining room, he has a green bean in each nostril, a carrot in one ear and a zucchini in the other.
He says, “Doc, I don’t feel well.”
The doctor looks and him and replies, “That's because you’re not eating well.”
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!"
Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear. "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says, "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
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