Latest Jokes

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 beers. The bartender asks him why he gets three beers. The man told the bartender, "Well, one is for me, and the other two are for my brothers who live in Texas."

The man does this for about a week and one day the man walks in and orders two beers instead of three. The bartender asks him why just two. The man said, "Well, my wife told me I had to quit drinking but she didn't say anything about my brothers having to stop."

Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?

Reports say that the food is good but there's no atmosphere!

What did the turkey say on Thanksgiving?
Don't "gobble" me up!

A senior couple decided to go shopping one day and split their efforts by going separate ways. Near the end of the shopping event they decided to get together for lunch.

As the woman was on her way to the rendezvous point, she heard a traffic warning on the radio that a car was driving in the wrong direction up ahead. Knowing that her husband was near the point of the warning, she decided to call him on the cell phone. When he answered, she explained, "I just heard on the news, someone is driving in the wrong direction on the highway!"

The husband replied, "One? There's hundreds of folks going the wrong way where I am!"