Latest Jokes

Abu al-Zarqawi died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates.
He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled "It was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.

As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared.
Al-Zarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."

The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

There was an inn keeper who urgently needed to expand his parking lot due to his business's growing needs.  However, the lot next to his, which he had purchased, was covered with tree saplings and the city had an ordinance against bulldozing trees.  The inn keeper was a powerful man on the city council and was friends with all of its members.  He brought up an amendment to the council to allow him to bulldoze the saplings so he could pave it for his new lot.  Was he successful?

No, the   "infant tree's"   always beat the   "Inn's urgency".

An old man always had his dog chained up, and one day he decided to take the dog out hunting with him. Since the dog has been chained up for so long it ran for a chance at freedom. The man ran after the dog hoping to catch it. The dog ran over a cliff. The man said, "dog gone it."

One day two little boys were arguing about religion. The one boy said Protestants are better than Catholics. The other boy said Catholics were better than Protestants. The one Protestant boy said, "Oh Yeah. I bet you don't even know the lord's middle name". The Catholic boy says, "The Lord doesn't have a middle name". "Oh yes he does" said the Protestant boy. The Catholic says, "Ok what is it"? The little Protestant boy says, "That's easy". Haven't you ever said the Lord's Prayer where it says, "Our father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name."