misc jokes

Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?
A. Hey Baby, what's SHAKING!

It was Halloween night... A man was walking home from work when he heard thump noises behind him. He turned around and saw a coffin following him. He was scared and started to run, the coffin kept right up with him. He got to his house ran through the front door, locked it and ran upstairs. The coffin busted through the front door and followed the man upstairs. The man ran for his life and then locked himself in the bathroom. The coffin burst into the bathroom. The man totally freaked out reached into the medicine cabinet and grabbed what he could find. What he grabbed was cough drops. He threw the cough drops at the coffin and the coffin stopped.

Did you hear that they discovered a dope ring at the Antartian factory?
It was 5 Antarians trying to read a blueprint

Did you hear about the calendar thief?
He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!