Best Jokes

A stage mother cornered the concert violinist in his dressing room and insisted he listen to a tape of her talented son playing the violin.

The man agreed to listen, and the woman switched on the tape player. “What music!” the violinist thought. A difficult piece, but played with such genius that it brought tears to his eyes. He listened spellbound to the entire recording.

“Madam,” he whispered, "is that your son?”

“No," she replied. “That’s Jascha Heifetz. But my son sounds just like him!”

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a twenty dollar bill to someone who was needy and down on his luck."

"Twenty whole dollars? That's a lot of money to just give away. What did your husband say about it?"

"Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, 'Thanks.'"