Best Jokes

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out...

Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.

Active socially: Drinks heavily.

Alert to company developments: An office gossip.

Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.

Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.

Consults with supervisor often: Pain in the neck.

Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.

Happy: Paid too much.

Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way.

Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot.

Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.

I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and look around.

They said no and slammed the door in my face!

Parents can be real jerks.

Dad: “Son, I named you after my father.”

After My Father: “I know, Dad, I know.”

I arrived early to the restaurant and the manager asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit?"

I replied, "Not at all."

"Good," he said, "Take these drinks to table nine."