Best Jokes

As I was walking through a variety store, I stopped at the pet department to look at some parakeets. In one cage a green bird lay on his back, one foot hooked oddly into the cage wire.

I was about to alert the saleswoman to the bird's plight when I noticed a sign taped to the cage:

"No, I am not sick. No, I am not dead. No, my leg is not stuck in the cage. I just like to sleep this way."

A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action.

A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year."

His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl, but I'll take it!"

A reporter asked Ed Sheeran if he appreciated the curvature of the letter B, but he just shook his head.

They should have known, he had just sung to them about he was in love with the shape of U!