Best Jokes

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.

MAN, I sure am LUCKY!

I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!

A father was driving nails while constructing a play house for his children. The youngest boy asked if he could hammer a nail. The father granted his request and showed him how to do it.

The boy did as his father had explained and lightly tapped to set the nail before hammering it in but he struck his thumb. It wasn’t enough force to bruise or break the skin but the father also knew it couldn’t have felt good.

After a few more attempts with the exact same result the father asked his son if he could help. His son quickly answered by saying, “Yes, would you hold the nail so I can get a good swing at it?”

"Why did you choose to be cremated?"

"Being cremated is my last chance to have a smoking hot body!"

Today I learned that if you flip a canoe over you can wear it as a hat...

Because it's cap-sized!