Best Jokes

A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she met with her pastor to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.

She told her pastor she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdale's.

"Bloomingdale's!" the pastor said. "Why Bloomingdale's?"

"That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."

A man calls a refrigerator repair service. "My refrigerator isn't working."

"What kind is it?"

"It's a small one."

"Electric, gas or propane?"

"Propane."

"Ah! Then the problem is most likely vapor lock. You don't need a service call, just turn the refrigerator upside down for a few minutes to allow the lock to clear. Then put it back and all should be well."

Second call, a few minutes later. "The least you could have done is to tell me to empty the fridge first!"

A boy, at the circus for the first time, sees a clown up-close and dressed from head to toe.

He says, "Look mom, there's big foot!"