Best Jokes

2 votes

A lawyer returns to the parking lot to find his sports car with the headlights broken and considerable damage to the front end.

There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper: "Sorry, I just backed into your car. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leaving my name, address and phone number. But I'm not."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes

A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats, plus airfares, accommodations, etc. But he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding, so he can't go.

If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St Peter's Church in New York City at 5pm. Her name's Louise. She will be the one in the white dress.

Thanks for your help!

2 votes

posted by "Katyman123" |
2 votes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to the house where the most gullible person in the world lives.

Knock, Knock
Who's there?

The Chicken

2 votes

posted by "Katyman123" |
$8.00 won 2 votes

A foreign correspondent, did a feature story in a country in the Middle East, several years ago and before their was conflict there. She noted women walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the old regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

She approached one of the women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

'The woman looked her straight in the eye, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

Moral is, no matter what language you speak or where you go... Behind every man, there's a smart woman!

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "GDL" |