Best Jokes

How come nailing something down is good...

But screwing something up is bad?

As the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses.

"I really only need mine for close reading," explained the first.

Remarked the second, "I only use mine when the light is bad."

The third confessed, "I rarely wear mine - except when I want to see."

Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife:

"Someone from the Guyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst beer is normal. I didn't know you liked beer?"

Doctor: "Ms. Markus, I want you to go to the lab for a blood workup. You don't have to fast."

Ms. Markus: "Fast? Doctor I'm seventy-nine, how fast can I go? I can barely walk!"