A customer in a New York restaurant gushed to the chef, "Your veal parmigiana is superb! I spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I had over there."
"Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported!"
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
Its true, Comet now cleans sinks.
A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics. He inquired of the tour guide, "Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?"
"No," replied the guide. "It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer."
"Never heard of him. What did he write?"
"A big check," replied the guide.
What kind of cheese can you take to church?
Swiss cheese, it's holey!