Best Jokes

$15.00 won 2 votes

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America...

The rest cheat in Europe.

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "aod318" |
2 votes
 

A couple moved to the country after retirement. One mild winter, they had a bit of a problem with rodents in the garage. So they bought a sub-sonic mouse repellent, a plug-in type that emits some kind of sound that drives off mice. The husband was showing it to their neighbor and explaining that it was an animal repellent. He told her that it worked on everything from mice to elephants.

"Really!?" she said. "Mice to elephants, eh?" sounding a bit skeptical.

"Yes," he replied, seriously. "We've had it here for a couple of weeks now, and we haven't had a single elephant in the garage the whole time!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 2 votes
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A woman buys many gallons of milk from the milkman one day.

"Why do you need so much milk?" the mailman asks.

The lady replies, "I heard that taking baths in milk makes you healthier and prettier."

The milkman asks, "Would you like the milk pasteurized?"

She answers, "No, just up to the neck".

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "S.Sovetts" |
2 votes

A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter "playing wedding."

The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

2 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |