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Favorite this joke A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi," the man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says. "I spoke to your wife… spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man said yes, and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."
An alcoholic wakes up in jail. He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?"
"For drinking," replies the officer.
"Great," says the man, "when do we start?"
There are bats hanging off a branch upside down, all except one.
Two bats comment, "What's happened to this one?"
"I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted."
We put our dog on a vegan diet, and she's doing really well...
She's eaten two so far.
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