Best Jokes

2 votes

Q: What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

2 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "wadejagz" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

What did the monkey say after its tail got caught in the lawnmower?

Won't be long now...

2 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "nerdasaurus" |
2 votes

May your dressing be tasty, May your turkey be plump...

May your potatoes and gravy, Have never a lump...

May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize...

And may your Thanksgiving dinner, Stay off your thighs!

2 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$5.00 won 2 votes

With today's rapid advance in technology, we thought it important to bring to our readers' attention some new engineering conversions:

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite-year

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line. (think about it for a moment)

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

10 cards: 1 decacards

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen

2 monograms: 1 diagram

8 nickels: 2 paradigms

2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbird

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "genius" |