Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
I spotted several pairs of men’s Levi’s at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head.
“I’m still wearing the 33s,” he said. “Come back next year.”
A snail goes to buy a car and looks at several models. He looks a the 'z' car, an 'x' car, and an 's' car.
He decides to buy the 's' car.
Now when he drives down the street, everyone says look at that 's'-car-go!
Girl friend (whilst having a romantic dinner at a restaurant): "Say something which spurs my heart-beat"
Boy-Friend: "I forgot to bring any money"