Best Jokes

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs and he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick ... I think my dog is a member of Congress!

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right," he asked, "for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?"

"Absolutely not!" replied the pastor.

"In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July?"

What’s a snorer?

A sound sleeper.

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and...(pause)...... cola."

"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender.

The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them."