Best Jokes

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!"

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."

"That'll teach them!" I replied.

A man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

A group of horses were moving down towards the horse court for horse jury.

One horse asks another, "Where do we enter again?"

The other horse replies indignantly, "Why the mane entrance of course!"