Best Jokes

2 votes
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Years ago I had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.

He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backward and said, "You can't touch those babies, you aren't sterile!"

Without missing a beat my husband retorted, "Obviously, I'm not sterile!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "merk" |
2 votes
 

On a slow day with few customers, a clerk at a telegram office looks down from her counter and sees a dog waiting in line.

"Oh, aren't you cute?" she says. "What would you like me to put on your telegram?"

"Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow," the dog replies.

The clerk says in a cutesy voice, "But you can add another 'Bow wow wow' for the same price."

The dog responds, "Now wouldn't that sound a little silly?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$12.00 won 2 votes

Both sides of our family turned out for my wife's college graduation. After the dean finished awarding all the diploma's, he requested, "Will all the 'cum laudes' please stand up?"

My mother-in-law leaned over and whispered, "Wow! The Cum Laude family sure has a lot of kids!"

2 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "merk" |
$7.00 won 2 votes

Don't ever run with Bagpipes...

You could poke an eye out...

Or worse yet, you could get kilt!

2 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |