Best Jokes

1 votes

Preparing to go on vacation yet very concerned her apartment would be burglarized while she was gone, Mrs. Smilowitz taped a note to her front door saying, "WE ARE HOME." When she came back from her vacation she found the house was robbed and everything was gone except for the dining room table. On it was a note which read, "Where were you? We looked for you!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Dana" |
1 votes

A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:

"Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you. I know it's no excuse but I don't get it at home. I can't live with the guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again."

Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob goes into his bedroom, and without a word, demands a divorce from his wife.

Moments later the guy gets a second text: "Really should use spell check! That should be 'wifi'."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Teddy" |
1 votes

Blind people can drive...
Just mostly into things.

1 votes

posted by "wildcats3333" |
1 votes
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On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."

A little voice from the back of the classroom asked, "How will that help?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Simple Sentiments1002" |