Best Jokes

Why did the chicken join the gym?

To work on his pecks!

One man who loved the color yellow had yellow carpet, yellow furniture, yellow drapes, yellow walls and even yellow appliances in his yellow kitchen. He slept in a yellow bed with yellow covers and wore yellow pajamas. He got sick. You guessed it ... yellow jaundice.

He called a doctor who came to his apartment building. The manager told him he'd have no trouble finding the right one. "You just go down the hall and come to a yellow door," he said. "That's the one."

In a few moments the doctor was back. The apartment manager asked, "Were you able to help him?"

The doctor replied, "Help him! I couldn't even FIND him!"

A hunter lost his bearings and wandered around the forest in a daze. Suddenly, he spotted another man. Dropping his rifle, he threw his arms around the other's neck and screamed, "Boy am I glad to see you! I've been lost in these woods for three days!"

"Restrain yourself," cautioned the other sadly, "I've been lost here for a week."

Three guys are fishing on a lake when an angel appears in the boat with them. The first guy gets over his shock and humbly says to the angel, "I've suffered from back pain for years. Is it too much to ask that you help me?"

The angel touches the man's back, and he feels instant relief. The second guy points to his Coke-bottle glasses and asks if the angel could cure his poor eyesight. The angel tosses the man's glasses into the lake. When they hit the water, the man's vision clears, and he can see everything distinctly.

The angel now turns to the third guy, who throws up his hands in fear. "Don't touch me!" he cries. "I'm on disability!"