Best Jokes

1 votes

Jill: I can stay underwater for ten minutes!

Jack: That’s impossible!

Jill: (takes a glass of water and holds it over her head for ten minutes.) See, I told you!

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "iqannnylirod" |
1 votes

It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit.

He explained, "I put my long life down to spending so much time outdoors. I've been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years."

"How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" they asked.

"It's simple," he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made a solemn pledge. We agreed that whenever we had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take a long walk."

1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

A Latin man goes into a department store looking for a specific item of clothing. But he can’t find what he’s looking for and he doesn’t know the English word for it.

So he grabs a salesperson and says, “Tienes calcetines?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what that is,” the salesperson says.

The guy tries again. “Medias?” he asks, miming pulling up socks. The salesperson brings him to the trouser section. “No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero medias, calcetines,” he says.

And so it goes for nearly 30 minutes. Finally, almost by accident, the salesperson leads him to the sock section.
The Spanish guy, excited, points and shouts, “Eso sí que es!”

The salesperson’s jaw drops and he says, “Well, why didn’t you TELL me you knew how to spell it?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike!

Hospital officials say they will find out what the doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs.

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Stuart Page" |